


Leave Me Alone, I'm Gay

by maxxeoff



Category: Voltron: Legendary Defender
Genre: Fake/Pretend Relationship, Homophobia, Idiots in Love, Implied Sexual Content, M/M, Marriage of Convenience, Misgendering, Rating May Change, Trans Keith (Voltron), a bit of traditional Japanese culture, but I'm not Japanese so I did my best and only referenced it, it's really fluffy I promise, non-graphic discussion of transitioning
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-22
Updated: 2020-03-29
Packaged: 2021-02-28 22:00:18
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 3
Words: 8,161
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23264341
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/maxxeoff/pseuds/maxxeoff
Summary: Shiro is gay. His wealthy and traditional family want him to marry as the heir to their multi-national company.Keith is trans. His aunt and uncle don't acknowledge his gender, and raised him to be a housewife.When fate (or rather, nosy families) brings these two together, what happens may surprise you!Based loosely on the story of reddit user u/husbandhelpneededpls.
Relationships: Keith/Shiro (Voltron)
Comments: 58
Kudos: 310





	1. The Marriage Meeting

**Author's Note:**

> This is a work inspired by the reddit post quoted here: https://twitter.com/sheithpocalypse/status/1241518323101286402
> 
> I change a lot of things and had fun with it!
> 
> As I mentioned in the tags, I am not Japanese, nor do I have extensive knowledge of Japanese traditions. I tried to keep things vague, and researched Japanese arranged marriages and Shinto ceremonies to write this properly.
> 
> This story deals with a gay man and a trans man stuck in traditional families, but it's not angsty, I promise. The only angst will come from these two being idiots in love. There is homophobia and misgendering in this fic. Please take care of yourself!

Shiro is in trouble.

All his life, he has known he is gay. Sure, he didn’t have the words for it at first, but when his parents talked about marriage he always imagined a man sharing the sake with him in front of a Shinto priest and _miko._ It was only when he was starting junior high school that Shiro figured out that, in general, being gay is not okay.

The bruises on his jaw only lasted a few days, but the memories of the larger boys surrounding him and their harsh words have stayed with Shiro into adulthood.

Mae and Kenshi Shirogane similarly made that clear to their son. Every time Shiro brought a boy home during high school, even if he assured them it was just a friend, his parents gave him worried glances. When Shiro was in university in the United States, his parents would call him every evening to remind him not-so-subtly how important it was for him to inherit the family business and marry a good girl. Every date Shiro went on felt like he was slapping his mother’s face.

Finally, after opening the first hotels in the Shirogane name for the family’s American branch, Shiro told his parents definitively that he will not marry a woman. Before they could cry or scream at him, Shiro assured them that he would not marry a man, either. Shiro knows how important marriage and tradition are to his family, and as his parents’ only son, he couldn’t do that to them.

So, Takashi Shirogane has spent his twenties living in Sacramento, managing the four Californian hotels he personally opened for his family’s company. This is his life. He visits the hotels, leads long conference calls, has meetings with interior designers and architects and real estate moguls. He lives alone in a loft in the city center, overlooking the river. The only guests he has is the occasional fling or brief boyfriend, and only once have his own parents visited him.

It’s a fulfilling life, in that Shiro is successful and independent. He doesn’t really mind that no man stays around for long, mostly out of his own reticence to connect in a real way.

But.

His parents clearly don’t agree.

Because right now, on his yearly visit to his family home in Tokyo, his parents have him looking at a photo and a profile in a neat little leather binder. Of a person he is going to meet in thirty minutes.

“ _Okaa-san_ , _Otou-san_ … is this … an _omiai_?” Shiro’s voice is not shaking. He’s about to have a marriage meeting. With a random woman he’s never met before.

“Takashi, darling, I know you weren’t thinking very seriously about marriage yet,” his mother starts. Shiro stares. She _knows_ what he thinks about marriage. “But – ”

His father interrupts. “But this is a pretty girl from a good family and you’re almost 30. It’s time to get married.”

Shiro resists the urge to stand up and pace. That would only upset his parents more. So he stays seated, but only barely.

“ _Otou-san_ , I don’t. Want. To get. Married.” Shiro tries to measure his words, but his mother still flinches from where she’s seated across from him. He sighs, and grits out, “I appreciate that you want me to be happy, but I’m doing perfectly fine as is in California. Work is getting busier than ever, I don’t have time for an _omiai_.”

“Takashi.” He looks his father in the eye and immediately needs to resist the urge to look back at his knees. Shiro doesn’t know how to stand up to Kenshi Shirogane, even after all these years. “You will marry. We cannot have the heir of the Shirogane family unmarried.”

“People _talk,_ ” his mother adds in.

Frustrated, Shiro runs his hands through his hair. He did not fly for thirteen hours and endure a sleepless night just to be sat down and told to marry a woman.

“ _Okaa-san,_ I’m _gay._ You know that. I can’t just _marry a woman._ ” His brain is fried from jet-lag and the allergies he only gets in Japan, and he can’t deal with this right now.

Maybe he should have softened that a bit, because now his mother is sniffling into her silk sleeve, tears running down her face. Shit.

“ _Okaa-san_ – ” Shiro starts.

“You will meet this girl, and you will consider her seriously.” Kenshi Shirogane glares directly into Shiro’s soul and this time he has to look down. “Your mother arranged this meeting because she loves you, you will respect our wishes and apologize to your mother immediately.”

Gritting his teeth, Shiro accepts his fate. He bows a little to his mother, and apologizes. She refuses to look at him.

***

In a very short time, Shiro is bundled into his best business suit and is told to smooth his hair down. The housekeeper, Muto-san, smiles encouragingly at him as he makes his way to the east-facing tea room. He can barely nod back.

It’s okay. He’ll just meet with this woman and talk a bit, and then reject her. That way Shiro will have listened to his parents’ wishes but also escaped a loveless marriage. Maybe he should move his return flight up to tomorrow, despite the jet-lag.

As he approaches the tea room, he realizes something. He didn’t actually look at the folder with the photo and profile. Dammit, he’ll have to figure out her name on the fly. Whatever. At least he gets to have the good tea.

Taking a deep breath, Shiro slides the door open.

Sitting across from the woman’s family, Shiro learns a few things very fast.

First, her name is Kumiko Kogane. Got that one down. Second, his parents are _very excited_ about this meeting. His mother won’t stop glancing between the young people seated across from each other. Third, Kogane-san doesn’t want to make eye contact, and Shiro is perfectly happy with that. She refuses to look at him even though her guardians (her aunt and uncle, it seems) physically nudge her and make veiled threats during the conversation.

Shiro is quickly growing bored of this charade. Kogane-san clearly isn’t interested in him, and he will never be with a woman. He misses a coded message sent from his mother’s eyes to Kogane-san’s aunt, because just as he’s about to call it all off, they stand quickly and usher their husbands out of the room to “give the young couple some privacy”.

Great.

Not wanting to be rude and drag this on longer than is needed, Shiro looks at Kogane-san – and stops in his tracks.

Kogane-san is glaring at him with the fiercest expression he’s ever encountered.

“Uh – ” he begins.

“Look, I don’t know why your family reached out to me, but you _don’t_ want to marry me, okay?” Kogane-san has a rough voice, and his Japanese sounds a little off. Dark blue – _blue? –_ eyes bore into Shiro’s own as anger makes itself known on Kogane-san’s face. “I’m transgender. I’m not a woman, I’m a man. My aunt and uncle want to marry me off but I’m doing fine, and I will _not_ be your wife.”

Shiro blinks. And blinks again.

“Wh … what?” he says intelligently. Really showing off that Stanford education.

Color rises high in Kogane-san’s face. Embarrassment? Anger?

“I am a man.” Taking Shiro’s calculating silence as a lack of understanding, Kogane-san continues hotly, “My aunt and uncle don’t know I’m a man because I’m _transgender_ , get it? And I don’t want to tell them, so please just cancel this _omiai_.” Steam is practically exuding from Kogane’s ears, what with how red he is.

He.

Shiro starts to laugh. Leaning his elbows on the table between them, he puts his face in his hands, and laughs. His parents set him up with a man without knowing it! What even is life?

Kogane-san straightens his back, narrows his eyes and hisses, “You want to marry a woman, so let’s. End. This.”

Quickly, Shiro raises his head, eyes wide, and answers reflexively. “Marry a woman? Me? I’m gay!”

Kogane-san falls silent in shock. They stare at each other. Kogane blinks, and bursts out laughing. They laugh together until their respective families come back into the room, smiling in what they think is a job well done.

They exchange numbers.

***

Over the next few days, they get to know each other. They think it’s hilarious that they were put in an _omiai_ together as very queer folk stuck in traditional families. They text, talk a bit on the phone, and even go on a “date” together (they just hang out and watch a dumb action movie).

Kogane-san’s name is actually Keith, and he was born in Arizona to a Japanese father and an absent southern mother. His dad was totally fine with him being trans, and had even let him start hormone replacement therapy as a young teenager. When Keith’s dad died on the job in a fire, the fourteen-year-old had to move in with his next-of-kin in Japan. Shiro’s arms ache to give the younger man a hug when he hears about his aunt and uncle enforcing his birth name, Kumiko, on him, and bringing him up to be a traditional Japanese housewife.

Shiro genuinely likes Keith, and thinks he’s funny. His eyes are bright and his humor is sharp. Apparently Shiro is the only person Keith has come out to since moving to Japan, and their free-flowing conversations about tradition and queerness endear the men to each other quickly. Keith likes action movies, has always wanted to ride a motorcycle, and desperately wants his graduate degree. Shiro finds him easy to talk to, a fountain of energy and opinions Shiro is happy to indulge. The two become friends.

So when Shiro’s parents pressure him to marry “Kumiko”, it doesn’t take much discussion between him and Keith to say “screw it” and agree.

Shiro extends his stay in Japan for a few weeks and they get married. He and Keith giggle euphorically behind closed doors about how their families will never bother them again, and about how smart they are for pulling the wool over their eyes. Shiro’s parents will never again hear those acerbic remarks from his own family about being gay, and Keith will get to go to graduate school and live as himself.

Thirty-seven days after meeting, they exchange sips of sake and repeat their oaths to each other in a Shinto shrine with only close family around them. The traditional white _wataboshi_ looks silly on Keith’s head, and Shiro can’t stop messing up the folds on his _hakama_.

The reception is formal and terrible, and Shiro has to sneak Keith extra champagne to keep him from snapping at all the well-wishers. Keith returns the favor by pinching him to keep him from screaming when his mother waxes poetic about how they “cured” his homosexuality.

They fly to Sacramento the next morning, exhausted and excited to live a life closer to their own truths.


	2. And They Were Roommates

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> The tension is ramping up, what is Shiro going to do??

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Some brief misgendering and non-graphic discussion of transitioning and trans-ness. Mostly it's just dumb boys pining, but please take care of yourselves!

Shiro and Keith set up a new normal.

The loft Shiro lives in is big (“ginormous”, in Keith’s words), so they set up the guest bedroom for Keith. Keith’s print is not left in only his room, though. Slowly but surely, all the flat surfaces in the loft get little rocks and shiny minerals piled in a supposedly “aesthetic” way. If Shiro accidentally knocks one of the grayish mottled things down, Keith chastises him and reminds him of the important days Keith tripped on this exact rock or dug up that exact pebble. Shiro doesn’t really understand, but he lets Keith bring the bedrock of California up into their loft.

Keith applies to, and is promptly accepted by, UC Davis. The rock program there (“the _geology_ program, Shiro, it’s not that hard!”) is apparently fantastic and the only person happier than Shiro about Keith’s acceptance is Keith. Shiro buys a motorcycle for him to celebrate. It’s bright red, Keith’s favorite color. That’s the first time that Keith hugs him, and Shiro melts into it. (He hasn’t had a real hug in years, and he didn’t realize he had missed it. Wrapping his arms around the smaller body makes him close to tearing up.)

From then, Shiro’s life gets happier. He never really thought he was missing anything, before. He has friends, his job has always been good, and casual hook-ups were fun. But now, Shiro realizes that Keith fills a very specific hole in his life that he can’t quite put his finger on.

Shiro’s friends, especially Matt, spam him with questions about his new “housemate” but eventually back off when Shiro gives them nothing to go on but a brief version of the truth. Matt, who has known Shiro since his college days, occasionally makes suggestive comments about Shiro’s _handsome young husband,_ but Shiro ignores it.

For the first few months, Keith is focused mostly on school and learning to ride his motorcycle. Shiro happily helps him in whatever financial needs Keith may have, but the younger man finally insists on getting a job of his own.

“I mean, you can, but you know I have enough money for both of us, right?” Shiro reasons.

Keith rolls his eyes, a habit Shiro is used to by now. “Yeah, you’re stinking rich, we all know that, but I want to pull my own weight, you know? Feel a sense of accomplishment or something.”

So Keith gets a TA position for a few undergrad chemistry courses, and seems pleased, so Shiro smiles and backs off.

Keith is busy, and Shiro has always been busy, so they only see each other at random mealtimes and watch Netflix together every weekend or so. It’s comfortable, and Shiro is fulfilled. He has never had a roommate before.

Sometimes Shiro’s parents call and ask him how his “wife” is doing, and Shiro responds efficiently and diverts to asking his parents about their life and how business is going over in Japan. Keith’s aunt and uncle don’t call as much, but when they do, Keith goes into his room and Shiro can hear him pitching his voice higher to talk to them.

As soon as Keith moved in with him, Shiro quietly offered to cover any and all transition-related expenses Keith might want, whenever he wants. Keith teared up, in a way he later won’t admit to, and gave Shiro a “bro-punch” to the shoulder.

They started looking for trans-specific psychologists and HRT doctors the next day.

One thing that delights Shiro continually is the way Keith slowly blossoms into himself. As every day goes by, Shiro sees Keith getting more confident and self-assured. The first change is after Keith’s haircut, from long black waves reaching his mid-back to a jaunty cut barely brushing his shoulders. Shiro sees the weight lifted from Keith’s shoulders, and silently rejoices for his friend.

The excuse for their families when they see Keith’s new look is that Shiro “allowed” Keith to cut his hair and dress more masculine. That works better than they expect, cajoling their families into thinking that Shiro is a lenient husband who indulges his spouse. The misogyny makes Shiro gag.

Shiro’s job is going well, it’s fine, same as always. Every once in a while, Keith makes dinner, a phenomenon that happens more and more especially after he realizes Shiro can’t cook for shit. He uses the opportunity to tease Shiro relentlessly.

“Shiro, can you cut up that garlic? Oh wait, I don’t want you to burn the building down, silly me!” Keith’s cobalt eyes dance as he blinks innocently through his lashes up at Shiro.

He accepts the torment and mumbles about how he can order fresh food any time from a restaurant, he doesn’t _need_ to cook. Keith always laughs him out of the kitchen, but his meals are always good.

Keith smiles, “There are a few benefits to being raised to be the perfect wife, you know.”

Not many benefits, Shiro learns.

Once in a while, when Shiro and Keith are sitting on the couch after a movie, Keith will open up about how he grew up after his dad died.

“I always hated skirts,” Keith mentions off-hand one night. He’s curled up with his knees by his chin, Shiro leaning against the arm on the other side of the couch. “They make me feel weak and exposed. And in school, I didn’t even get the option of arguing that pants can be feminine, too, because of the uniforms.”

Shiro winces in sympathy. He had a hard time growing up gay in Japan, but he really cannot compare his experiences to Keith’s.

“I wish I was there for you, back then.”

Keith laughs huskily at that. “Are you kidding? I took care of myself, Shiro, don’t worry.” They smile at each other, but Shiro’s is slightly strained, so Keith goes on.

“I had my own little rebellions.” Keith’s eyes take on a mischievous glint, and he leans across the couch like a cat. “With my allowance, I would buy men’s underwear and only ever wear those.” When Shiro blinks in slight surprise, Keith smirks. “Once, a guy from a different class up-skirted me and saw the boxers, and you know what I did?”

Shiro shakes his head, enraptured. The curl of Keith’s mouth is beautiful, more so when he breaks into an evil grin.

“I gave him a roundhouse kick to the head. And I said, ‘Here you go, if you wanted to look so badly.’” Shiro gapes at Keith’s courage. He’ll never have balls as big as Keith’s, but he’ll admit that to his friend.

“And then we both got suspended for a week.” Keith sits up proudly and flicks his hair back. Startled, Shiro snorts, and they go to bed twenty minutes later still rocked by peals of laughter.

***

At some point, too gradually for Shiro to really comprehend right away, their relationship becomes a little closer.

It happens sometime after Keith has his top surgery, when Shiro had worked from home to care for his husband. That was the most time they had spent together since meeting, and Shiro feels like they became proper best friends.

One evening, when Keith was scheduled to Skype his aunt and uncle and Shiro was reading in bed, there comes a gentle knock on Shiro’s door.

“Yeah?”

Keith looks in, hair still a little damp from his shower. He never dries it correctly, and it drives Shiro crazy.

“… Would you wanna talk to my aunt and uncle with me right now? I’m about to call them.” His voice is neutral, difficult to parse. Shiro thinks he must be nervous.

Blinking, Shiro says, “Yeah, of course, Keith. Whatever you want.”

The grin that spreads across his face makes Shiro freeze. Keith looks like he’s won a game. He struts over to Shiro’s bed, laptop held like a waiter holds a fancy tray of food, and plops himself right next to Shiro.

Shiro can’t move.

“They kept asking me why I never called them with you, so I’m glad you’re fine with it.” Keith explains, setting up the video call strategically to only show above his collar bones. “The old farts just want to know they didn’t set me up for a life of misery or something.” Keith rolls his eyes.

Clicking his aunt’s name in his Skype contacts, Keith brusquely scoots so close to Shiro that he’s forced to raise his arm to make room. Shiro barely composes himself in time to smile and switch to Japanese for Keith’s family.

Calling his aunt and uncle in Shiro’s room, on his bed, becomes routine for Keith. Shiro smiles through the conversations, and they make up dates on the fly that the young couple had been on in the past week or so. When Keith makes them up, they’re day trips to the beach in Santa Cruz where he packs a Japanese picnic lunch with _onigiri_ and sausages cut up like octopuses. His aunt coos at how wifely her “niece” is being and how well she learned. When Shiro makes up the dates, they’re to a fancy restaurant downtown with a three-course meal where they have champagne toasts to their marriage. Keith’s family goes wild for that, so happy that their “niece” is treated like “a princess” by “her loving husband”.

(Shiro can’t help but imagine what their dates would actually be like, if they were to go on any.)

The first time Keith falls asleep in Shiro’s bed after a Skype call, he apologizes and tells Shiro he was just so sleepy. Shiro says he doesn’t mind, he slept on the couch. Keith wrinkles his eyebrows at that and gives him a funny look, but they drop it.

The second time Keith falls asleep in Shiro’s bed is a few weeks later, and he makes a big deal about it.

Yawning dramatically after closing his computer, Keith whines, “It’s so _far_ to my room, and it’s so _late._ Ugh.” His arms reach up high as he stretches, pulling up his sleep shirt enough to reveal his belly button.

Confused, Shiro says, “Would you like me to walk back with you? I don’t want you to fall over on the way back if you’re so tired.”

Keith looks at him out of the corner of his eyes at Shiro’s patient expression, and then flops down and decisively pulls the covers up to his chin. “Nah, I’m good here. I’m too tired to walk back at all.”

Shiro doesn’t move. Doesn’t breathe. Should he carry Keith back to his bed? It would be easy to do that. Shiro lifts more at the gym. Should he insist he leaves? He doesn’t actually mind Keith being here, in his bed, but the couch is kind of uncomfortable. Should he take Keith’s bed for tonight?

Keith opens his eyes and glares at Shiro. Sighing internally, Shiro makes to get up to go to the couch, but Keith grips his wrist and pulls him down into bed. Shiro barely avoids knocking his head on the bedframe.

Keeping his firm grasp on Shiro’s arm, Keith closes his eyes contentedly and says, “Goodnight.”

Shiro lies awake for hours in his own bed, listening to the soft breaths of the man next to him. He nearly falls asleep in a meeting the next morning.

What Shiro assumes is a one-time occurrence becomes a regular thing. After that night, every time they video call Keith’s or Shiro’s family, Keith makes a big show of how sleepy he is and they fall asleep together in Shiro’s bed.

At first, Shiro is worried about Keith’s health, thinking he sleeps too much. But then he reasons that the younger man is essentially going through a second puberty. Of course he’s tired all the time. Shiro decides to be gentle to his friend and just lets himself enjoy the warmth beside him.

Sometimes he’ll wake up with Keith wrapped around him entirely, suffocated by Keith’s hair, but that’s something Shiro’s not going to think about. (Keith’s shampoo smells like a pine forest and mountain flowers.)

Sometimes they’ll wake up at the same time, their faces inches apart. Neither of them move, until Keith inevitably makes some joke and walks away.

Once, Keith leans forward and nudges his nose against Shiro’s. Shiro is still. His heart is pounding.

Keith then quickly sits up, ears red, and gets ready for the day. They don’t talk about it.

The two men spend more time together the longer that they are married, delighting Shiro. They watch more action movies, and when they run out of the good ones, move to action anime and B movies. How sitting at opposite ends of the couch upgraded to Keith draped over Shiro’s whole person, he doesn’t know.

Some Saturday when they’re gearing up to watch the 80’s movie _Cyborg,_ Keith is in the kitchen reaching for the popcorn. It’s on a shelf a little too high for him, so Shiro steps up behind him and grabs it.

He drops it into Keith’s hands; “Here you go.”

But … Keith is grinning. His face is a little red, is he anxious? “You’re so … _big_ and _tall,_ Shiro.”

Keith then goes to put the popcorn in the microwave, leaving Shiro to wonder _what_ that means. Oh god, what if Keith finds Shiro to be intimidating?

That night, after they go to bed (in Shiro’s bed – Keith says his bed doesn’t feel right so he prefers Shiro’s), Shiro stays up late, thinking.

They’ve become closer over the past few months. It’s been more than half a year since they got “married”, and they’ve been living together, so it makes sense.

And at first, Shiro was the only person Keith knew in the States. He’s made friends in his program at UC Davis, now, but naturally Shiro is going to be the person Keith is closest to.

But, why is Keith nervous around Shiro? That’s what it has to be, he thinks. Keith is usually so confident and self-assured about everything, but sometimes, when they stand close to each other or have a particularly intimate moment, Keith backs off. The guy even gets red, as if he’s embarrassed.

Is Shiro making Keith uncomfortable? Oh no, is it Shiro’s _height_? Keith commented on it today. Shiro knows he’s above average height, and Keith isn’t exactly tall. Shiro has always liked the way that Keith has to look up to meet his gaze, but maybe that’s humiliating for Keith.

The time that Keith got so close to brush his nose against Shiro’s, what was that about? It was almost like …

Shiro’s mind stills.

It was almost like Keith was going to kiss him.

Oh my god, does Keith want to _kiss_ him?

Shiro thinks about what would have happened if he had leaned forward, too, and met Keith’s lips with his own. They would have been soft, and slightly chapped. His breath wouldn’t be very nice, not having brushed his teeth yet, but Keith wouldn’t mind. And then they would kiss some more, and Shiro would roll Keith onto his back, holding him only with his body weight, and –

Oh.

Shiro is in love with his husband.


	3. And The Rest is History

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> Things go well.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Editing is for NERDS don't come at me if there's an error, it's my baby now

Shiro is in trouble.

He’s in love with his _husband._ How did that happen? This wasn’t meant to happen! And Keith definitely doesn’t feel the same way, right?

The thing is, Keith is so gentle with him. So good. When they cuddle, Keith puts his head on Shiro’s shoulder and it makes him _feel_ things. And Keith always makes his favorite foods, even while complaining that he should be eating more vegetables. But Keith doesn’t love him. Not like _that._

Even if Shiro feels this way about his husband, he doesn’t have to show it. And it might make Keith uncomfortable to be open about it, anyways. Keith backs away every time their faces are too close, and that’s a signal Shiro can read loud and clear. He’s not looking for anything more.

And what about those comments about Shiro being tall? It must intimidate him. Keith is almost a foot shorter than Shiro, and much slighter. If Shiro picked him up (god, Shiro wants to pick him up), he would weigh nothing. That might feel like a slap to Keith’s pride. Shiro’s not trans, but he can imagine being told how feminine you are all your life wouldn’t make you receptive to being the smallest in the room.

Shiro’s not very emotive, which is a blessing and a curse. It means he can hide his feelings towards Keith with ease, but it also means he probably comes off as stoic and intimidating. Keith’s emotions are always clear, always on the forefront. Shiro loves that about him. Keith must dislike his own placid way of dealing with things.

So Shiro puts his love for his husband on the back-burner. It’s not important. Spending time with Keith, sleeping next to him: that’s enough.

Keith has a field trip coming up in June, less than a month away.

(“It’s a _research trip_ Shiro. We’re not playing in the dirt for fun.”

“But you do think it’s fun, right?”

“….. Shut up.”)

Shiro is looking forward to it because it coincides with his own vacation.

Every year, in June, Shiro takes a two-week hiatus from going to the office and the different hotels. Instead, he stays home and breathes. Yeah, he works throughout the whole two weeks, he can’t just _abandon_ his company, but it’s from home so it’s basically a vacation. It’s the only time off he gets. Even visiting Japan to see his parents is just a long business trip.

Shiro plans to use the time that he’s at home and Keith is in south California digging up rocks and doing science-things to rest. Rest his brain. He’ll hang out with Matt, get a beer or two with the boys, remember what it’s like to sleep alone. It’ll be good for him. These two weeks, Shiro can remind himself that Keith is _not_ , in fact, his entire world, and that his love is probably just infatuation. Then, when Keith comes back, they’ll talk about his research and return to normal.

Satisfied with his plan, Shiro relaxes, and just enjoys his time with Keith as usual.

Until the tremors.

The Saturday morning before Keith is supposed to leave with his professor’s lab group to New Cuyama, a practically non-existent town on CA-166, they’re woken up by the sound of a spaceship flying through space.

Keith picks up his phone while Shiro blinks groggily, and roughs out, “P’fessor, wha’s goin’ on?”

Then Keith sits up, pulling the sheets from Shiro. Shiro groans and turns on his side towards Keith to cover his chest. He sleeps with his shirt off in the summer because it’s hot and it’s California, but it’s still surprising to have your nighttime shield ripped from you. Then Shiro sits up too, Keith’s face surprising him.

Definitely awake now, Keith listens intently to the phone. He hums a few acknowledgements, says “yeah” twice, and then hangs up.

He stares at his hands, eyebrows wrinkled, not acknowledging Shiro’s worried face.

“…Keith?”

A grunt.

“Is everything okay?”

Keith lets a gust of air out of his lungs as he flops back onto his pillow. “Yeah, everything’s fine. But my trip’s cancelled.”

The hand Shiro was running through his own hair to get a few tangles out falls away. “What? But you were looking forward to it so much! What happened?”

Glaring at the ceiling, Keith mumbles, “There have been a series of small earthquakes around the field site, nothing more than a 2.0, but the department had to cancel for safety precautions.”

“Is anyone hurt? Were any of the other research assistants already there?” Shiro can’t think about Keith potentially being caught in an earthquake, even a small one. What if one of those microscopes fell on him? He would have died!

Keith sighs. “No, no one. There was one shack that collapsed, apparently, but no one was in it. The department is just being careful.”

They sit in the quiet morning air for a while. Keith, his head on his pillow, grumbling softly about _safety-schmafety_ and _stupid San Andreas_. Shiro, sitting up, feeling the sunrise on through the thin curtains hit his bare shoulders. Thinking, _Keith is staying here. For the next two weeks. With me._

No time to cool off his crush. No separation. No freezing office AC to calm his overheated thoughts.

Just two weeks, spending time with Keith, all day, every day.

***

One and a half days later, Shiro is losing it. Absolutely _losing it._

After Keith had gotten over the disappointment of his research trip being cancelled, he started hanging around Shiro. Like, _constantly_. Shiro knows the apartment is only so big, and they do live together, but when they’re sitting in the living room doing separate things they usual have _some_ space between them.

But no, Keith has been _right by his side._ When Shiro sat down to read his book, Keith lounged on the couch next to him with his head on Shiro’s thigh and played on his phone. When they were eating take-out for lunch, Keith gave him these _eyes_ every time he put a dumpling in his mouth. When Shiro went to work out in his gym, Keith joined him.

The gym was the worst part, honestly. They both use the small gym tucked in the back of the apartment, but they always use it at different times. So, when Shiro got on the running machine and Keith lay down to use the bench press, Shiro had no idea what he was in for.

An hour later, the image of Keith’s sweaty body lying down with his knees apart would not go away. Shiro could barely catch his breath.

Then Keith jokingly said they should take a shower together and Shiro combusted.

That was twenty minutes ago.

Now, Shiro is hiding in his room after having taken a very quick and very cold shower, calling the only person he can talk to about this.

After three rings, Matt picks up. Shiro explains the whole situation in a fast, hushed voice.

“– and I just don’t understand! Is he doing this to torture me because he knows I like him?!”

“Woah woah woah, Shiro my man, hold up.” Shiro stops his ramble, but continues pacing around the room. “Are you telling me you guys weren’t _already_ together?”

Shiro huffs, “You know we married only to get – ”

“Yeah, so you could be gay without your parents breathing down your neck, I know.” Matt interrupts. “But the way you guys act around each other is borderline _obscene_ , dude. You always have sex-eyes when you look at each other. I was sure you were already banging.”

Shiro stops pacing. “No way. Keith doesn’t think of me like that, I’m –”

But there are footfalls in the hallway, getting closer to his and Keith’s shared room. “Gotta go Matt, we’ll talk later.”

“But – ”

Shiro rips the AirPods out of his ears and hangs up the call just as Keith walks in. Hopefully he doesn’t look suspicious, he thinks he schooled his face well.

Keith smiles at him and walks over to his closet. “Is it cool if I borrow your grey hoodie? Mine feels too constricting after that workout.”

Shiro barely manages to nod before Keith is stripping off his own shirt and sliding on Shiro’s. His back is so creamy and strong and oh god Shiro could fit his _hands_ around that waist—

These two weeks are going to be terrible, if Keith is comfortable enough to act like this every day. It’s not even Monday yet.

***

Keith tones down nothing. This is just Shiro’s new mode of normal. Keith must be feeling more comfortable around him recently, because Shiro has _never_ experienced this level of closeness. He doesn’t know whether to cherish it or run screaming.

On Tuesday night, Keith is making dinner and Shiro walks in the kitchen. He doesn’t ask to help, knowing that Keith would just laugh him out of the room entirely, but he likes watching Keith’s capable fingers chop up vegetables and wash rice. Keith is playing music and, occasionally, dancing a bit to it. He does some twirls, causing Shiro to laugh. At one point, he even ropes Shiro into it, pulling him close and wrapping lithe arms around his neck. Shiro keeps laughing, but it’s a little strained now. _Keith is pressed against me Keith’s chest is on mine Keith is leading me in a turn Keith pUT MY HAND ON HIS LOWER BACK OH MY G –_ and then Keith goes back to making the fried rice, hips swaying gently. Shiro doesn’t recover for the rest of the night.

Since Sunday, they don’t work out at the same time in the gym, Shiro has made sure of that, but they keep _running into each other_. Shiro tries to get a sense of Keith’s work-out schedule, but it’s eclectic, maybe even random. Sometimes Shiro goes to lift some weights at his regular time but Keith is there, finishing up his squats. Keith always flashes a quick smile at Shiro before finishing up and drinking water like a porn star. Other times, Keith walks in as Shiro is walking out. His eyes as they pass each other make Shiro feel exposed, and he’s not quite sure why. Thursday, Keith pauses, eyes dragging up and down Shiro’s slick skin before he reaches out and lightly squeezes one of his biceps.

“Tight.” Then Keith smirks up at Shiro and walks in to start his routine. Shiro is not proud of what he does in the shower immediately after.

Friday comes and Shiro is losing his grasp on sanity.

They’re watching _Akira_ on the flat screen in the living room, and Keith has fallen asleep on Shiro’s lap. Not just his head innocently on his thigh, but rather Keith has managed to wrap his whole upper body around Shiro’s waist with his head practically nuzzled on top of Shiro’s _crotch_ and then fallen asleep.

The scene where Tetsuo metamorphoses into a giant flesh-and-guts monster is playing now, and Shiro sits stock still. Keith’s breath is warm against his lower belly, his hair soft where Shiro’s left hand is trapped. Screams blare over the surround-sound speakers as Shiro grabs his phone and desperately texts Matt.

_S [20:46]: He’s sleeping on my lap what do I DO_

_M [20:51]: carry him to bed lol_

_M [20:52]: like a princess!!! like a princess!!1_

Shiro slaps his hand over his face forgetting that he’s holding a phone. _Ow._ But Shiro can deal with his stinging nose later. He needs to get Keith off of him, Matt is right about that much.

Carefully, he reaches for the remote and turns the TV off just as Kaneda opens his mouth to yell. Looking down, Keith is dead to the world. Oh well. It’s not like he _meant_ to fall asleep on Shiro and basically kick-start his latent teenage hormones.

Shiro shuffles around until he can get Keith in a good hold – so it’s the princess-carry, whatever – and brings him to bed. Looking at his phone, it’s barely nine o’clock. But he might as well go to sleep. He brushes his teeth, turns off all the lights in the apartment, changes into his ratty old sweatpants from college and goes to bed.

Just as he’s adjusting the covers, though, he feels a touch.

“Oh, Keith, I didn’t mean to wake you up, I’m s–”

Keith actually puts his forefinger over Shiro’s lips and presses down gently. Shiro doesn’t move a muscle. Scooting closer, Keith closes his eyes and drapes over Shiro’s bare chest and is fast asleep.

He’s mouth is right on Shiro’s pec. He’s breathing hot air on his nipple.

Shiro does not go to sleep.

Hours into his Keith-shaped torture, Shiro has formed a plan. He needs to tell Keith how he feels. In the morning, he’ll just say it, plain and simple, Keith will laugh, and then they can get on with their lives. It’ll hurt for a while, but at least it’ll be over. No more nipple-breathing.

As he’s contemplating how to best give Keith space for the next week, his phone buzzes softly.

_M [02:20]: mannn i jst got bakc from the best nigh with the bestt girl. did u and Keeth do it yet?_

Breathing slowly in through his mouth while counting to ten, Shiro begs the heavens to send him patience.

_S [02:22]: Of course not._

Thinking for a moment, Shiro sends another text.

_S [02:22]: But his whole face is plastered on my bare pec and he’s been breathing on my nipple all night, does that count_

_M [02:25]: HA_

_M [02:25]: no._

_M [02:27]: man u gotta tell him how u fel_

_S [02:28]: I will. Tomorrow. Then we can get back to normal._

_M [02:29]: NO_

Shiro blinks at his screen. He just agreed with Matt and he responded with “No”? The guy must be plastered.

_M [02:30]: u idiot dont u see hes in love with u_

Shiro’s heart stops.

_M [02:30]: make a move u big sexy thng_

_M [02:31]: y do u thik he sleps in ur bed? he wanst to b o n e_

He almost throws the phone across the room. _Bone???_ No. No way. Keith??

But then he thinks. He does sleep with Shiro. But isn’t that just because Shiro has a nice bed, like he’s said? But then what about the touching? Keith doesn’t have to touch Shiro the way he does. He honestly doesn’t even have to stay at home even though his trip is cancelled. Shiro knows the guy has friends, he’s met them. So why is he just at home, with Shiro?

Is Matt … right?

Shiro doesn’t realize he’s still staring at Matt’s text when a slim hand bats it out across onto the carpet, sending Shiro’s heart through his mouth. Keith is barely visible in the pale light of the moon though the curtains, but he looks put-out.

“Go t’sleep.” Keith’s voice is low and rough from sleep, and suddenly only an inch from Shiro’s ear.

Then the smaller man slots his leg firmly in between Shiro’s own and promptly falls back to sleep.

Heart beating out of rhythm and phone way too far to reach, Shiro takes another hour to fall asleep with his husband.

***

Morning finds Shiro starting at the ceiling, a warm and soft Keith still flopped carelessly across his chest.

He’s made his decision to tell Keith how he feels. It’ll be scary, but he has to. The tension between them is too thick to handle, even if it’s all just in Shiro’s head.

He’ll just tell Keith about how he respects him, loves him, and will support him through any decision he wants to make. And, in the best case scenario, Shrio has lube and condoms in the side table drawer beneath a book he never reads. Shiro has always been mature and composed, he’s sure his nerves won’t show too much.

The sun creeping higher in the sky, Keith finally wakes up. He shifts, and then sleepily rubs his nose in the middle of Shiro’s chest, mumbling incoherently. Shiro’s nerves skyrocket. _He’s not ready he’s not ready oh god._

Steeling himself, Shiro sits up abruptly, dislodging Keith and sending him sprawling across the bed.

Keith glares daggers, unfocused in the morning light, and grumbles a rather tame, “ _Hey_.”

“Keith! I need to tell you something.” Shiro is tense, muscles spasming from staying in the same position all night long. “I –”

Keith blinks at him, eyes confused and so, so blue.

Shiro breaks.

“I love you,” he blubbers, tears starting to roll fast and hot down his cheeks. He did _not_ plan for this. Keith sits up slowly, eyes wide and blinking as he clearly tries to wake up faster. “I just think you’re so _special_ and so good to me and,” snot is starting to run out of his nose, “I don’t care that you’re trans, it’s a part of you, I just want to be _with you._ ” A sob wracks its way through Shiro’s chest and more tears flow out unbidden. “I know I’m tall and big and kinda scary and serious or whatever, and I know this is surprising, but I just had to tell you.” Shiro wipes his hands over his eyes to no avail. He can’t look at Keith anymore. “I just keep thinking about you under me and how I want to kiss you and take care of you and –”

Shiro stops talking. He’s crying too much. Some composed guy _he_ is, crying his eyes out to the guy he loves at 8:30 in the morning.

Keith waits patiently for Shiro’s crying to slow a bit before reaching over and gently taking Shiro’s wet hands from his snotty face. Shiro blinks back his tears. Keith is so beautiful in the morning light. He looks serious, too. Shiro’s stomach flips.

“Shiro.” Keith’s voice has lost that edge of sleepiness, but it’s still rough and oh-so-good. “You’re a moron.”

Shocked, Shiro’s tears stop falling. What? He thought Keith would let him down gently.

And then Keith is leaning forward, still holding onto Shiro’s wrists, and he kisses him.

Shiro gasps into the kiss, his world view is turning upside down. Keith is kissing him. Keith is kissing _him._ Keith likes him back? Whimpering, Shiro leans into his husband and kisses him back as hard as he can.

A few snot-filled and saliva-soaked moments later, Keith leans back, his lips cherry-red and plump from the kissing. He puts a steady hand on the back of Shiro’s neck, tips their foreheads together, and shatters all Shiro’s preconceived notions of everything.

“I’ve been coming on to you for months, you big, dumb idiot.” _So that’s what that was_ , Shiro thinks abstractly. His brain isn’t quite back online yet. “I didn’t do anything because whenever I tried, you’d freak out and freeze up. I know you love me. It’s been obvious. But I didn’t want to rush you.”

Shiro’s brain fizzes out. So he’s really not cool and composed … at _all._ Keith sees right through him. He shudders out a shaky breath and holds tight to Keith’s hand, unable to say anything back.

“Also, I’ve already told you I love you, you dummy. Last month.” What? No he hasn’t. Shiro would have known. Unless…

Oh god, he means when Shiro attempted to make blueberry muffins for the heck of it. Keith had tried one, spat it out, and said _“I love you, man, never change.”_ Shiro thought he meant it as, like, a brother. Or something.

Keith interrupts his reeling thoughts.

“But the thing you’re the dumbest about,” Keith grins an inch from Shiro’s face, “is that you think you’re the top in this relationship.” Shiro’s mind screeches to a halt.

Wait. What?

“ _You_ want to push _me_ down and take care of me?” Keith chuckles, and it’s the sexiest thing Shiro has ever heard. “Shiro, you’re a big baby. You need _me_ to take care of you.”

And then Shiro is upended. Literally, this time. Keith pushes him down onto his back and crawls on top of him. Shiro has never seen a panther stalk his prey, but he imagines it’s a lot like what Keith is doing right now.

Keith glides a hand down Shiro’s chest, and follows it with wet kisses. He grins up at Shiro, and then reaches up and twists a nipple with force. Shiro cries out, and becomes hard faster than he ever has in his life.

Keith rocks back up Shiro’s body and presses a firm kiss to his open mouth, licking in deep after a second. Shiro moans, grasping at his husband’s back, hands shaking either from his earlier crying or from all the blood that has rushed south.

Breaking away, Keith deftly reaches over to Shiro’s bedside table and pulls out the lube and a – a giant purple dildo. When did Keith put that in there…?

Leaning back to Shiro’s ear, Keith murmurs, “We can talk about you topping sometimes, I don’t mind, but _everything”_ Keith licks his jawline, sending a fierce shiver down Shiro’s spine, “is begging to be taken _apart_.”

“ _Keith._ ” Shiro’s voice cracks, but he doesn’t care. His hands do wrap around Keith’s waist, and he holds on for dear life.

“Oh, and Shiro?” Shiro blinks up, brain fuzzy from all the emotions and endorphins rushing around. Keith presses a sweet kiss to his lips, so different from the previous ones.

“Since you didn’t get it the first time, I’ll say it again. I love you.” Shiro blushes. Somehow, this is so much more than everything Keith has said or done up until this point. If he was standing up, he’d swoon. “I love you in a romantic way. I love you in a sexual way. Do you need me to say that again?”

Dumbly, Shiro nods. Keith laughs, and kisses him hard. Shiro whines into his mouth, and clutches onto Keith. After a few moments, Keith pulls away, lips ever-so slick.

“I love you, you big idiot.”

***

Hours later, so much so that it’s basically lunch time, Shiro sends a picture and a text to Matt. The picture is a selfie of Shiro with obvious sex-hair, neck and chest covered with hickies, with a sleeping Keith huddled in the blankets next to him. Only his mess of gorgeous hair is showing from under the covers.

_S [12:14]: It turns out he’s a top._

Shiro laughs at the string of thumbs-up and eggplant emojis Matt sends him, and grins happily at Keith’s sleeping form.

Shiro is in love with his husband, and his husband loves him back.

He smiles, and goes to sleep wrapped around Keith.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thank you so much for reading! Please comment if you want or find me on twitter at the same handle! I love hearing from people about sheith. :)


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